| TAOISM- "If you understand shit, it isn’t shit"
HINDUISM- "This shit happened before" CONFUCIANISM- "Confucius say ’shit happens’" BUDDHISM- "Shit will happen to you again" ZEN- "What is the sound of shit happening?" ISLAM- "If shit happens it is the will of Allah" SIKHISM- "Leave our shit alone" Jehovah’S WITNESS- "Knock knock. Shit happens" ATHEISM- "I don’t believe this shit" AGNOSTICISM- "Can you prove that shit happens?" CATHOLICISM- "If shit happens, you deserve it" PROTESTANTISM- "Shit happens, amen to that" JUDAISM- "Why does shit always happen to us?" ORTHODOX JUDAISM- "So shit happens, already" TELEVANGELISM- "Send money or shit will happen to you" RASTAFARIANISM- "Let’s smoke this shit" HARE KRISHNA- "Shit happens rama rama" NATION OF ISLAM- "Don’t take no shit" NEW AGE0 "Visualize shit happening" SHINTOISM- "You inherit the shit of your ancestors" HEDONISM- "I love it when shit happens" SATANISM- "Sneppah tihs" CAPITALISM- "This is MY shit" FEMINISM- "Men are shit" EXISTENTIALISM- "What is shit, anyway?" SCIENTOLOGY- "If shit happens, see Dianetics p.137" MORMONISM- "Excrement happens" (don’t say shit) BAPTISM- "We’ll wash the shit right off you" MYSTICISM- "This is really weird shit" VOODOO- "Shit doesn’t just happen - we made it happen" DISNEYISM- "Bad shit doesn’t happen here" WICCA- "You can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times" |
COMMUNISM- "Let’s share the shit"
MARXISM- "You have nothing to lose but your shit" CONSPIRACY THEORISM- "THEY shit on us!" PSYCHO-ANALYSIS- "Tell me about your shit" DARWINISM- "Survival of the shittiest" AMISH "Modern shit is useless" SUICIDAL- "I’ve had enough of this shit" OPTIMISM- "Shit won’t happen to me" TREKISM- "To boldly shit where no-one has shit before" SHAKESPEAREAN- "To shit or not to shit, that is the question" DESCARTES- "I shit therefore I am" FREUD- "Shit is a phallic symbol" LAWYERS- "For enough money, I can get you out of shit" ACUPUNCTURIST- "Hold still or this will hurt like shit" DOG- "I just shit in your shoe" CAT- "Dogs are shit" MOUSE- "Oh shit! A cat!" POLITICALLY CORRECT- "Internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens" EINSTEIN- "Shit is relative" FAMILY GATHERING- "Relatives are shit" MATERIALISM- "Whoever dies with the most shit, wins" VEGETARIANISM- "If it happens to shit, don’t eat it" FATALISM- "Oh shit, it’s going to happen" ENVIRONMENTALISM- "Shit is biodegradable" AMERICANISM- "Who gives a shit?" STATISTICIAN- "Shit is 84.7% likely to happen" HIP-HOP- "Motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!" TANTRISM- "Fuck this shit" CYNICISM- "We are all full of shit" SURREALISM- "Fish happens" PSYCHIATRY "Why do you think shit happens?" |